Ways to reduce stress and increase personal happiness during the holidays
Author: Karen Helmes MA, LPC, ACS
It’s the most… complicated time of the year. So many of our friends and family look forward to the holiday season but there are just as many that are “dreading” it. For many, it becomes overwhelming with balancing work, holiday shopping, deadlines, social gatherings that include friends and family, work parties, and finances. So many of us lose sight of what we need for ourselves over the holidays and what allows us to connect with the joy of the season.
Let me start off with one of my many favorite tips. It might also be the one tip that I get the most “looks” from when I say it. It is okay to say “No”. Let me say it again. It is okay to say “No”. It can be an uncomfortable word but one that everyone needs to have in their vocabulary. If you do not set some boundaries with where you are willing to travel to, whom you are okay with having in your home, how much shopping you will do and how much you will do for others, you will not experience a holiday.
Instead, you will be too busy doing for or pleasing others. Whether you are shopping for food or gifts over the holidays, be mindful of what you can comfortably spend. It can be challenging when you feel like you have to buy for everyone. If you have a large family or set group of friends see if you can propose a Pollyanna or white elephant game for gift giving instead. Everyone can still enjoy the process of buying a special gift and receiving one without shopping for multiple individuals. Set a budget for yourself that separates gifts from food. It is hard to enjoy the holidays if you are already dreading a credit card bill.
If you are traveling locally or out of state be mindful to allow a buffer of time for going to and from your destination. Take into account what processes we go through at the airport and the increase of cancellations that can occur. If you are driving, be realistic about how congested the traffic might be. Also, allow some time for you and your family to be at home without a commitment prior to resuming your work or school week.
Be mindful of your energy and comfort level. If you are low on energy you will find that you are going to be more sensitive. Take brief breaks and in particular enjoy some of the daylight hours and get out in the air. We are challenged with our days being shorter, darker and colder.. You can gain so much energy from small increments of time outdoors. Even if you have to bundle up, get on out there.
Additionally worth mentioning, dress in comfortable clothes for the holiday season. If you have to be in more “dressy” clothes make every attempt to ensure that the fabric and fit are comfortable for you.
Be kind to others. Understand that not everyone celebrates holidays or might be missing someone over the holidays. In such a diverse world that we live there are many different traditions that individuals engage in. Whether we have lost someone years ago or last year, there is no right or wrong sensitivity to grief. Reflect on traditions that bring you joy and allow you to connect with your loved one who is no longer with us. If you are separated from loved ones due to strife you can give homage to the traditions of the past and enjoy creating new ones.
Lastly, if you are engaged in therapy try and keep your routine of appointments. Identify your support system both professionally and personally. Remember you are not alone.
