Building rapport with your therapist
Author: Demi Emmons, MS
One of the most valuable aspects of counseling is having a comfortable relationship with your therapist. You need to find someone who is reliable, understanding, and compassionate with your counseling goals just as much as you are. If you are not “vibing” or enjoying your time in counseling, it may be time to consider if you have the correct therapist for yourself. Being in counseling can be uncomfortable but having a therapist that is the right fit for you, makes the vulnerability much tolerable. When you first meet your new therapist, they can be equally as nervous to meet you. Your therapist wants to make sure that you will feel safe enough to share your intimate details and they are confident enough to be able to help you achieve your goals. Not every therapist is equipped with the same niches or talented with every modality. That’s okay, that's why the consultation and “interview” is so important.
During the first few sessions, you should expect your clinician to ask a lot of questions, gather information, distribute and/or review assessments and questionnaires. Your clinician might even ask you to fill out some release forms for other medical providers for collaboration of care (i.e. psychiatrists, nutritionists, primary care physicians, etc.). It will take time to build rapport and understand each other’s abilities in the counseling sessions. Ideally, we hope you feel comfortable leaving the first session but it can take up to five sessions until you begin to fully feel secure in your therapeutic relationship.
As the client, we ask you to be open-minded and make efforts to step out of your comfort zone. You can also ask your counselor or therapist questions while building rapport. Your counselor’s priority should be to make sure you as the client feels comfortable, welcome and validated.
I ask my clients frequently if they feel comfortable with our therapeutic relationship and if there is anything they would like for me to work on or add to our sessions together. This helps my client express their feelings or concerns if there are any and I try my best as the counselor to make sure their needs are being met. Alternatively, your therapist should offer feedback to you as the client in order to promote growth and reassessment of goals.
Therapeutic relationships are double-sided and both parties need to work together in order for the relationship to work. Client and counselor are both responsible for making sure counseling can be successful. Counseling is not an easy task at first but the outcomes are endless and possible with determination, dedication, and trust between the client and counselor.
